
Check in with the survivor to remind them you still care about their well-being and believe their story.
Check in periodically. The event may have happened a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean the pain is gone. Avoid phrases that suggest they’re taking too long to recover such as, “You’ve been acting like this for a while now,” or “How much longer will you feel this way?” Avoid judgment. It can be difficult to watch a survivor struggle with the effects of sexual assault for an extended period of time. If someone trusted you enough to disclose the event to you, consider the following ways to show your continued support. There’s no timetable when it comes to recovering from sexual violence. Phrases like “This must be really tough for you,” and, “I’m so glad you are sharing this with me,” help to communicate empathy. This shouldn’t have happened to you.” Acknowledge that the experience has affected their life. Assess if there are people in their life they feel comfortable going to, and remind them that there are service providers who will be able to support them as they heal from the experience. I care about you and am here to listen or help in any way I can.” Let the survivor know that you are there for them and willing to listen to their story if they are comfortable sharing it. Remind the survivor, maybe even more than once, that they are not to blame. You didn’t do anything to deserve this.” Survivors may blame themselves, especially if they know the perpetrator personally. The best thing you can do is to believe them. Be careful not to interpret calmness as a sign that the event did not occur-everyone responds to traumatic events differently. Leave any “why” questions or investigations to the experts-your job is to support this person. They may feel ashamed, concerned that they won’t be believed, or worried they’ll be blamed. It took a lot of courage to tell me about this.” It can be extremely difficult for survivors to come forward and share their story. Here are some specific phrases RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline staff recommend to be supportive through a survivor’s healing process. But often listening is the best way to support a survivor.
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Sometimes support means providing resources, such as how to reach the National Sexual Assault Hotline, seek medical attention, or report the crime to the police. For a survivor, disclosing to someone they care about can be very difficult, so we encourage you to be as supportive and non-judgemental as possible.